What I don’t talk about from high school

There is part of my story that few know the whole story, but others think they know. I was watching a story of a young woman on 48 hours who went through and overcame a violent dating relationship. This is why I’m telling this part of my story.

This picture is of me when I was a sophomore in high school. I was just beginning to learn about myself. I was a varsity tennis player who loved hanging out with my girls, my best guy friends and with my dog. I had a crush on a senior in my Spanish class with piercing blue eyes. We started to talk and pretty soon he asked me out on a date. We went to see Forrest Gump. And there he asked me to be his girlfriend and of course I said yes. Things went great for awhile. But then things started going weird. The school had started having 2-hr delays and I would spend time at his place. He started to pressure me about sex and I refused. Then he started telling me I was dressing like a slut and that I shouldn’t be talking to other guys, including my guy friends who I’d been friends with for over 5 years. One day an argument happened at school where he pushed me into a locker. We started fighting a lot. He designed a symbol that was used on the shirts that year for all the grades of our mascot in a straight jacket with a ball and chain attached to the ankles. This is how he saw me. I would give into some of the things he wanted but when I wouldn’t fully he would go crazy. Eventually I broke up with him. I didn’t know who I was anymore and I was unsure about what really was going on. He tried to get me to get back together with me and I wouldn’t. One night after I came home from a basketball tryout, my mom played me a message that was scrambled and weird sounding that basically said that my mom would get killed and so would I. The sheriff’s office was called and came to my house. When they were there he called me back. I told him that I knew that I knew what he had done and that the sheriff was at my house so he needed to leave me alone.I still had to be at school in the same class with Him the rest of the year. People in the school knew what was going on and were watching out for me. I began a new relationship towards the end of school that year with someone who didn’t go to our school. I ended up going to the graduation ceremony that year because my friends and my best friend’s sister were graduating. So we cheered for her and I cheered for my friend who was also friends with him. He shot dagger eyes at me. Shortly after that he began to drive past my house yelling obscene things and throwing things at my car. I also started working at the local market that summer. He saw me and tried to run me over with his car when I was out getting grocery carts. I called the sheriff and was told there was nothing that could be done because there were no stalker laws in place at that time. I went for a long time scared that he would come around again. He eventually left me alone and moved out of town. Many of you will ask why I bring this up now 23 years later. But it is because I dealt with the hurt, the shame, the embarrassment for many years. I had to go through counseling and ruined other relationships because of this. The words that were spoken to me stayed with me for a very long time. I want people to understand how much words can really speak life or death into someone. In the last few years, I have finally allowed God’s full healing power take over when it comes to this and other areas of my life. I now want other people to know that they are not alone and that they can get through this. I may not have been perfect, but I did nothing to deserve the way I got treated, but I did deserve the full healing that I received from God.

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